Falinge Park School investigates the complexities of ‘honour-based’ violence and to develop training around ‘honour-based’ abuse and violence (HBAV) and raising awareness.
There has been much discussion recently about attitudes to women and increasing domestic violence. In Rochdale, discussions amongst community leaders about domestic violence have often focused on cases with a so called ‘honour’ base. In response to this, the team at Falinge Park School have been working with Rochdale Council’s Adult and Childrens safeguarding boards to develop training around ‘honour-based’ abuse and violence (HBAV) and to raise awareness.
Working with Rochdale Women’s Welfare Association (RWWA), the team at Falinge Park gained a better understanding of the complexities of ‘honour-based’ violence, in which women can be perpetrators as well as victims themselves. Incidents may involve the extended family and the wider community and this, along with possible language and cultural barriers, plus possibly limited financial independence, can mean escape is difficult and dangerous.
The Rochdale Women’s Welfare Association had been working with the White Ribbon charity, who exist to “end male violence against women by engaging with men and boys to make a stand against violence”. Their mission is to promise to never commit, excuse or remain silent about male violence against women. The team at Falinge Park decided that inviting young men to become “White Ribbon Ambassadors” would be a positive outcome of the course and give them a platform for raising awareness and leading on the issue with “White Ribbon Day” which is held on 25 November each year.
The team at Falinge Park want to increase the understanding of domestic violence and abuse among young men, including awareness of honour-based abuse and forced marriage. They want to recognise and understand the issues that lead to domestic violence and honour-based abuse. By raising awareness and building understanding they hope that these young men will be better able to support their peers and have healthy relationships. They also hope that their young men will be empowered to become leaders in their families and communities.
Unpacking beliefs and ideas
The team worked with a group of 14 boys, some of whom were selected because they had displayed concerning behaviour or attitudes, others because they had shown themselves to be positive role models. The sessions aimed to raise awareness of the issues as well as developing their leadership skills, confidence and self-awareness.
The boys attended ten one-hour workshop sessions. The first session was about male identity and how identities are formed through our family background, beliefs, experiences and personalities. Using a rucksack analogy, the facilitators began by ‘unpacking’ their rucksacks to show key events, people or ideas that had shaped them in both positive and negative ways, using items that represented this. This activity helped to build connections with the group and a safe space, as each shared their stories.
It immediately became clear that the majority of boys found it very difficult to talk about themselves or articulate the influences on their growing identity and this became a discussion in its own right. Some were able to talk about the expectations from family and from peers that they should ‘stand up’ for the women in their families, particularly sisters. This prompted discussion about the empowerment of girls and what was meant by ‘protecting their sisters’.
Insights from the boys supported the development of further planning, meaning that the project could become more responsive. The second session focused on talking and taking the time to create a safe space for dialogue. As relationships developed the boys became more willing to share and an unspoken moral code emerged around what they considered to be male strength. When the facilitators dug deeper the boys were able to discuss what this might look like in terms of behaviour. The team used Socratic style questioning as a way of reflecting back and clarifying what was being said, encouraging the boys to consider possible consequences of these attitudes and beliefs both for them and for girls.
The third session explored the notion of power, inviting them to see their personal qualities and attributes as potential superpowers. The boys discussed how power can be used to affect change, as well as considering how superpowers needed to be limited and appropriate to the situation, using examples from ‘The Incredibles’. They explored several case studies of positive male role models, including many from a Muslim background.
This session naturally led on to an exploration of healthy relationships and abuse of power. Local police officers were invited into school to talk about the reality of abuse. The boys were quick to point out that abuse didn’t only happen to women – a point which they explored through a case study and analysis of facts and statistics about violence towards women, perpetrated by men. One of the young men argued that cases of sexual violence weren’t always clear and that some women ‘like to be raped’ and had ‘rape fantasies’.
This interjection, although shocking, facilitated open dialogue. The group were pushed to think critically about why a young women might make such a statement and considered what the law said about consent and why. This incident led to further one-to-one work with one member of the group. At the end of the session the male police officer told the boys that he had been a victim of domestic abuse, perpetrated by his ex-wife. The group were shocked by this revelation and couldn’t understand why the police officer hadn’t met violence with violence or how a woman had been able to hit a man. This facilitated a deeper discussion about positive ways in which male strength and power could be expressed.
The process of setting up the project led to many useful discussions around vulnerabilities to domestic violence, “honour-based” abuse and violence and the need for intervention. Giving a space for boys who may be at risk of becoming perpetrators or witnesses to DV and HBAV was innovative and by its nature involved some risk. The learning that took place in the initial stages of the project were vital in demonstrating the need for a safe space for boys to spend time talking openly.
For the boys involved, the impact very much depended on their individual starting point and engagement. Once the purpose of the group was explained, boys were given the chance to opt out, which two chose to do. Two more of the group were unable to continue due to exclusions.
The reminder gained an understanding of DV and HBAV whilst becoming more able and willing to talk and share ideas. They gained essential critical thinking skills and emotional intelligence. Two boys wanted to go on to become “White Ribbon Ambassadors”. It was suggested that they could invite some friends to get involved. After initial enthusiasm the suggestions they came back with were girls; they hadn’t felt able to ask their male peers at this stage. This highlighted how much work there was still to be done.
One student, who was very passionate about campaigning for women’s safety explained that he had previously participated in a course on HBAV led by an Imam in his mosque and was enthusiastic in leading boys in the school and the community to a similar understanding. He agreed to speak at the virtual “honour-based” abuse and violence awareness campaign held by Rochdale Council and received high acclaim for his input. The confidence of this young man to stand up for women led us to consider the importance and impact of the Imam as a male role model. In the light of this and with what we learnt over the initial weeks of the programme, we decided to redesign the course with an Imam as an integral part of the delivery.
For the team at Falinge Park, the project has led to a greater understanding of the complexities of the issues, specifically of ‘honour-based’ abuse and violence and the need for a multifaceted approach. It reinforced the idea that for domestic violence and ‘honour-based’ abuse and violence to be effectively addressed, boys need to be empowered to become ambassadors against violence. there needs to be a ‘wrap around’ approach involving key community partners in design, delivery and ongoing support. There also needs to be a whole school approach to develop the school culture so that boys feel more able to stand up for young women amongst their peers.
